At the beginning of all of my posts from now until December 31st I will be including a link to my Dressember fundraising page. I will also be sharing facts about modern day slavery. Today’s fact: “Sex tourism [going on vacation just to have sex] is a billion dollar industry that further encourages the sexual exploitation of women and girls (quote found here).
Here is the link to my fundraising page if you want to join me in helping exploited women experience freedom. Part of Dressember is just starting the conversation, but another large part is raising money to help Dressember’s partners carry out rescue missions. Just $200 dollars helps with the immediate needs a woman has when she leaves a trafficking situation. Whether or not you make a donation, start the conversation!
It’s that time of year again… If your professors have not posted their grades yet they will be posting soon. It’s that time of year when you are rejoicing because those late night sat the library paid off or you’re sitting at home wondering what you did wrong.
I wanted to make a post out there for all my fellow perfectionists out there because sometimes we have to be reminded that we have really high expectations.
My goal this semester was to get all As… not including A- though, I wanted all 93s and above. I thought there was going to be one class that would challenge my goal and I was right. I was taking Physiology of Exercise this semester and it certainly made reaching my goal very hard. I tried as hard as I could but sometimes we can’t do it all. I didn’t get an A in that class and yes I’m disappointed but what can I do with that disappointment.
First, I have to accept that I did everything I could and I cannot change anything now.
Second, sometimes the odds are not in your favor. For this one class the midterm and final were 50% of our grade (25% each), the average of 10 pop quizzes were 25%, and our lab grade was 25%. I’m not an awful test taker but I am awful at true and false questions, I have the tendency to read into questions too much and wording throw me off. Both the midterm and final had more true/false than multiple choice so I had a disadvantage.
Third, I have to realize that I have gained so much from this class. My professor for this class is very old school, he lectures without a powerpoint and will only post the very key concepts after we go over them in class. I have always been a note taker, there is only one class in the past two and a half years I have relied on the powerpoints for and even then I still ended up taking notes on my print out. But when you do not have those to fall back on you really learn how to listen. You also learn how to figure out what the most important parts are. I also learned a skill that is going to be integral to my next few years in school- the art of using knowledge you already know and connecting it to what you’re learning now. In high school I was a master at memorizing things before a test, I mean who wasn’t? But once I got to college I learned that this whole “integrating former knowledge” would pay off big time. Did I always do it though? Nope. Sometimes it is just easier to put that knowledge in short term memory and call it a night. But for Physiology of exercise I really sat down and looked at my notes and connected that puzzle together, with notes from that class and from my memory of biology and anatomy (and kinda chemistry but I’m not too great at that). In any class that is designed to challenge students you should be proud of every point you earned. I have always been a firm believer that it is better to be challenged and get a lower grade than to float by taking easy classes and getting As. You are going to grow more and learn more when you are faced with a challenge so be proud of every point you fought for.
Fourth, I have to realize that there is nothing bad about a B. I’ll be honest I didn’t really want one, and at first I did not want to even write what grade I ended up getting, but then I realized there are worse things. I know I set really high expectations for myself so when I feel this disappointment I have constantly remind myself that I still did not fail, I just didn’t meet my sky high expectations.
So this was a specific example, but you can relate these steps to any perfectionist problems you face:
- You cannot change reality.
- Sometimes the odds are stacked against you.
- You will grow more when you challenge yourself.
- You probably have higher expectations than most, so be proud of what you accomplished.
So if you are not rejoicing when you look at your final grade report, take a deep breath and remind yourself that your grades are not the only thing that define you. They do not show how great of a person you are they just show how well you can show you learned material in a certain way.